2022/23 ON PTV NETWORK
@greenpea @NuStraya @foxyrover @Michael_Eccles @LiamP @Kathryn_Milin @TBoy Here are the mock schedules for PTV, Shake and GEM on New Year’s Eve (31 Dec) and New Year’s Day (1 Jan).
PTV
NEW YEAR’S EVE Saturday 31 December 2022
8.00am: My Market Kitchen. Chefs Mike Reid and Laura Sharrad are joined by a variety of guests in the iconic Prahran Market, cooking delicious, easy to follow recipes. (G) [CC]
8.30am: Freshly Picked with Simon Toohey. Join Simon Toohey as he showcases all the delicious and versatile ingredients the plant kingdom has on offer, as well as the Aussie farmers producing them. (G) [CC]
9.00am: Escape Fishing with ET. Escape with former rugby league legend Andrew ‘ET’ Ettingshausen as he travels Australia and the Pacific, hunting out all types of species of fish, while sharing his knowledge on how to catch them. (G) [CC]
9.30am: Pat Callinan’s 4x4 Adventures. Explore Australia’s most breathtaking destinations off the beaten track with our very own ‘Mr 4X4’, Pat Callinan. (G) [CC]
10.30am: PTV SPORT - Sports Special. Non-stop sporting action on New Year’s Eve, including (content subject to change):
Cricket: Highlights from National Stadium in Karachi of day five of the first test, Pakistan v BLACKCAPS, plus live coverage from Pukekura Park in New Plymouth of today’s Men’s Super Smash match, Central Stags v Northern Brave (from 1.30pm approx).
Baseball: Highlights from North Harbour Stadium in Auckland of the Auckland Tuatara v Sydney Blue Sox games in the Australian Baseball League 2022/23.
Basketball: Highlights from Qudos Bank Arena in Sydney of last night’s NBL 2022/23 match, Sydney Kings v Tasmania JackJumpers.
Commonwealth Games: More Birmingham 2022 highlights.
6.00pm: PTV News. The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast. [CC]
6.30pm: PTV SPORT SPECIAL - Best of Sport 2022. 2022 was a truly golden year for New Zealand sport. Zoi Sadowski-Synnott won the women’s snowboard slopestyle and became the first New Zealander to win a gold medal at the Winter Olympics; the women’s 2021 Rugby World Cup was held at three venues in the upper North Island; and Ross Taylor played his 112th and final test match for the BLACKCAPS after a 15 year career. Andrew Gourdie, Jeff McTainsh and Kirstie Stanway present an hour-long review of the sporting year. [CC]
7.30pm: NEW YEAR’S EVE MOVIE - Mamma Mia! (2008). The story of a bride-to-be trying to find her real father told using hit songs by the popular 1970s group ABBA. Musical, starring Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Amanda Seyfried. Directed by Phyllida Lloyd. (PG-S) [CC, AD]
9.50pm: PTV Late News. An update on the latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast. [CC]
10.05pm: PTV SPECIAL - PTV’s New Year’s Eve Celebration. Jesse Mulligan and guests present PTV’s own New Year’s Eve party, with live link-ups to field reporters Nats Levi (at one of Auckland’s fabulous nightspots), Lauren Hendricksen (in Mount Maunganui), Ashleigh McCaull (at Rhythm and Vines) and Shannon Redstall (in Queenstown). Includes live coverage of the midnight fireworks from Auckland (at 11.55pm approx). [CC]
12.30am: LATE MOVIE - Can’t Stop the Music (1980). A retired model invites some of her Greenwich Village pals to sing for their supper in order to help the career of her housemate, an aspiring composer of disco music. Comedy, starring Village People, Valerie Perrine, Caitlyn Jenner, Steve Guttenberg. Directed by Nancy Walker. (PG-LSC) [CC]
2.55am: Weather, Closedown
NEW YEAR’S DAY Sunday 1 January 2023
7.30am: PTV SPORT - PTV’s World of Football: Premier League 2022/23 (Review). A round-up of last week’s action from the English Premier League.
8.25am: PTV SPORT - PTV’s World of Football: Premier League 2022/23 (Results Service). Scores from the English Premier League games played overnight.
8.30am: Taste of Australia with Hayden Quinn. Taste of Australia with Hayden Quinn explores the unique personalities shaping the food scene in Australia. Experience the characters, produce and creative forces contributing to Australian food culture. (G) [CC]
8.55am: Cesar Millan: Better Human, Better Dog. Today: Cesar rehabs Hendrix, a self-made guard dog that bites and mounts anyone and everyone that comes near because the family was afraid and isolated him. (PG) [CC]
9.45am: Return of the Spider Monkeys. A spider monkey named Infinity was stolen from the forest as a baby. Documentary. (G) [CC]
10.35am: PTV SPORT - Sports Special. Non-stop sporting action on New Year’s Day, including (content subject to change):
Cricket: Live coverage from Hagley Oval in Christchurch of today’s Men’s Super Smash match, Canterbury Kings v Wellington Firebirds (from 1.30pm approx), interrupted by live racing from Te Rapa (see below).
Football: Highlights of three English Premier League matches played this morning - Manchester City v Everton, Newcastle United v Leeds and Bournemouth v Crystal Palace.
Winter Olympics: Beijing 2022 highlights.
Racing from Te Rapa: Seven live races from Te Rapa (including Sistema Railway, Windsor Park Stud Queen Elizabeth II Cup and Dunstan Feed Stayers Championship Final).
6.00pm: PTV News. The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast. [CC]
6.30pm: Pointless Celebrities (EXPRESS FROM THE UK). Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman host a celebrity edition of the British quiz show in which four teams try to come up with the answers that no-one else could think of. Tonight’s celebrity contestants are Tim Key, Alex Horne, Tommy Walsh, Eboni Usoro-Brown, Sharron Davies, Rhea Bailey, Diarmuid Gavin and Natalie Jamieson. (G) [CC]
7.30pm: NEW YEAR’S DAY MOVIE - Men in Black III (2012). Agent J travels in time to MIB’s early years in the 1960s to stop an alien from assassinating his friend Agent K and changing history. Sci-fi, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin. Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. (M-V) [CC, AD]
9.50pm: The Graham Norton Show (EXPRESS FROM THE UK). Tonight: Graham is joined by Olivia Colman, Hugh Laurie, Romesh Ranganathan and Leah Williamson for his annual Hogmanay chat. With music from the stars of the West End revival of Cabaret. (M-LC) [CC]
11.05pm: PTV Late News. An update on the latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast. [CC]
11.20pm: SUMMERTIME MOVIE - Abducted: The Mary Stauffer Story (2019). The harrowing, incredible true story of Mary Stauffer and her eight-year-old daughter Beth’s abduction and subsequent captivity, where they were locked in a closet for seven weeks. Drama, starring Alyson Hannigan, Daphne Hoskins, Howie Lai. Directed by Jim Donovan. (M-V) [CC]
1.20am: Weather, Closedown
SHAKE
NEW YEAR’S EVE Saturday 31 December 2022
9.00am: WWE SmackDown: Te Reo. Ringside action with the biggest and baddest superstars of WWE’s blue brand, fresh off the satellite from the US. This programme, which was first shown last Sunday, has been reversioned in te reo Māori and funded by Te Māngai Pāho. (PG-V)
10.00am: WWE Raw: Te Reo. Ringside action with the biggest and baddest superstars of WWE’s flagship brand, fresh off the satellite from the US. This programme, which was first shown last night, has been reversioned in te reo Māori and funded by Te Māngai Pāho. (PG-V)
11.00am: Summer Shakedown. A countdown of the top hits of 2022. This programme was first shown on MAX. (PG)
12.00pm: Help! I’m in a Secret Relationship. Today: Despite living and working together, music producer Donald has never met his fiancée Stormi’s family or friends; Rahne and Travis help Donald find out why. (PG) [CC]
12.55pm: Teen Mom: The Next Chapter (PG) [CC]
1.50pm: Catfish: The TV Show. Today: When TikTok star Jake’s cyber-girlfriend threatens to blackmail him, he comes to Catfish for help. But Nev and Kamie discover she’s got her own story to tell! (PG) [CC]
2.45pm: The Video Club. Let us be your DJ as we bring you a selection of music videos, from the latest music releases to the classics.
3.00pm: Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Today: When Jake is late, Captain Holt assigns him to a graffiti case that Jake feels is below his level. Meanwhile, Gina’s psychic friend visits the precinct and gets inside Charles’ head. (PG-LS) [CC]
3.30pm: Parks and Recreation. Today: To gain support for the park project and an upcoming town hall meeting, Leslie decides that she and the committee need to go doorknocking throughout the neighbourhood. (PG) [CC]
4.00pm: The Office. Today: A consultant arrives at Dunder Mifflin to teach a seminar on diversity in the workplace. Michael implies that it was his idea, while in reality it was his offensive behaviour that necessitated the training. (PG) [CC]
4.30pm: The Misery Index (SERIES PREMIERE). Welcome to the programme where host Jameela Jamil and stars of Impractical Jokers are paired with contestants to guess the misery of some hilariously traumatic real-life events. (PG) [CC]
5.00pm: WWE NXT. Ringside action with the biggest and baddest superstars of WWE’s gold brand, fresh off the satellite from the US. This programme screens at an earlier time due to the scheduling of Shake’s New Year’s Eve party (“Happy New Year!” - see below) and Shake apologises for any inconvenience caused. (PG-V)
6.00pm: The Simpsons. Tonight: Homer unwittingly drags the family into a cornfield maze after attempting to leave a boring Harvest fest that Marge brought them to. (PG) [CC, AD]
6.30pm: SHAKE’S NEW YEAR’S EVE MOVIE - Sing (2016). A dapper koala who has fallen on hard times has one final chance to restore his crumbling theatre by producing the world’s greatest singing competition. Animated, starring the voices of Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Seth MacFarlane. Directed by Christophe Lourdelet, Garth Jennings. (G) [CC, AD]
8.50pm: SHAKE SPECIAL - SIX60: Till the Lights Go Out. The five-piece New Zealand band SIX60 must reconcile ambition and creative vulnerability in order to prove they are worthy of their success. Documentary. (M-L) [CC]
10.50pm: SHAKE SPECIAL - Happy New Year! Brook Ruscoe, Courtney Tairi and William Waiirua present a non-stop music party to welcome in the New Year with special guests and favourite video clips. This programme is being simulcast on both Shake and MAX, and includes live coverage of the midnight fireworks from Auckland (at 11.55pm approx).
3.00am: Closedown
NEW YEAR’S DAY Sunday 1 January 2023
9.00am: Kenan & Kel. Kenan and Kel, a pair of high school students go on several misadventures, which usually occur as a result of Kenan devising a scheme to get rich quick, or avoid trouble from his elders. (G) [CC]
9.20am: The Simple Life. Today: The girls move on to Staten Island, where they live with an Italian-American family and do an internship at an advertising agency, where they clash with their straitlaced supervisor. (PG) [CC]
9.45am: Teen Mom UK. Today: Sassi blows up at being mugged off by Darren; Jordan makes a life changing decision; Amber and Ste clash; and Mia gets big news about her Dad’s health. (PG) [CC]
10.35am: black-ish. Today: The twins are growing up; Diane develops her first crush. (PG) [CC]
11.00am: WWE NXT: Te Reo. Ringside action with the biggest and baddest superstars of WWE’s gold brand, fresh off the satellite from the US. This programme, which was first shown last night, has been reversioned in te reo Māori and funded by Te Māngai Pāho. (PG-V)
11.50am: The Video Club. Let us be your DJ as we bring you a selection of music videos, from the latest music releases to the classics.
12.00pm: SHAKE SPECIAL - The 50th Annual American Music Awards. From the Microsoft Theatre in Los Angeles, the 50th annual presentation of the American Music Awards. The awards recognise top recording artists in the categories of pop, hip hop, RnB, dance/electronica, rock, country and many more. Nominees in the 39 categories include Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, Bad Bunny, BTS, Kendrick Lamar, Nicki Minaj, Chris Brown, Beyoncé and newcomer Dove Cameron. (PG) [CC]
2.00pm: SHAKE SPECIAL - Waiata Māori Music Awards 2022. Now in its 15th year, the Waiata Māori Music Awards seeks to develop, encourage and honour the achievements of outstanding traditional and contemporary musical compositions and performances. This is the most prestigious music awards ever to acknowledge Māori composers. Nominees include L.A.B, Anna Coddington, Te Kaahu, Mistee K, Coterie and Adam Tukiri. (PG)
4.30pm: SHAKE SPECIAL - Pacific Music Awards 2022. The Pacific Music Awards seeks to develop, encourage and honour the achievements of Pacific music in Aotearoa New Zealand. Nominees include Emily Muli, Kings, SWIDT and Tomorrow People. (PG)
6.00pm: The Simpsons (DOUBLE EPISODE). Tonight: (1) Bart and Lisa join forces to stop the school bullies from setting off a stink bomb at the school bake sale. / (2) After Kent Brockman is fired as a news anchor, he and Lisa use the Internet to expose the Fox News Conspiracy. (All PG) [All CC, AD]
7.00pm: SHAKE’S NEW YEAR’S DAY DOUBLE FEATURE - Sing 2 (2020). Buster Moon and his friends must persuade reclusive rock star Clay Calloway to join them for the opening of a new show. Animated, starring the voices of Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon. Directed by Garth Jennings. (PG) [CC, AD]
9.25pm: SHAKE’S NEW YEAR’S DAY DOUBLE FEATURE - The Hangover (2009). Three buddies wake up from a bachelor party in Las Vegas, with no memory of the previous night and the bachelor missing. They make their way around the city in order to find their friend before his wedding. Comedy, starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha, Jeffrey Tambor. Directed by Todd Phillips. (16-LSC) [CC, AD]
11.35pm: WWE SmackDown. Ringside action with the biggest and baddest superstars of WWE’s flagship brand, fresh off the satellite from the US. (PG-V)
12.35am: SUMMERTIME LAUGHS - Vacation (2015). Following in his father’s footsteps and hoping for some much-needed family bonding, a grown-up Rusty Griswold surprises his family with a cross-country trip back to Walley World. Comedy, starring Ed Helms, Christina Applegate, Skyle Gisondo, Chris Hemsworth, Leslie Mann, Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Charlie Day. Directed by John Francis Daley, M Goldstein Jonathan. (16-LC) [CC, AD]
2.30am: Closedown
GEM
NEW YEAR’S EVE Saturday 31 December 2022
8.00am: The Andy Griffith Show. Today: A state police captain errs in not utilizing Sheriff Taylor’s intimate knowledge of the area and its people when issuing a dragnet for an escaped criminal. (G) [CC]
8.30am: The Beverly Hillbillies. Today: The Clampetts finally arrive at their new home, but find there aren’t any of the conveniences of their old home. Jethro makes a few new discoveries. (G) [CC]
9.00pm: Petticoat Junction. Today: Kate uses a combination of charm, subterfuge and wiles to prevent Homer Bedloe from catching the Hooterville Cannonball and getting to Pixley in order to initiate proceedings that would permanently terminate the train’s operation. (G) [CC]
9.30am: The Flying Nun. Today: Carlos, a playboy, sees Sister Bertrille flying, which leads him to believe he’s having religious visions and to change his lifestyle. (G) [CC]
10.00am: Land of the Giants. Today: A sadistic Giant girl takes some of the Earthlings prisoner and locks them up in her grandfather’s toy town. (G) [CC]
10.55am: Lost in Space. Today: Advanced aliens draw the entire ship into their cavernous vessel. (G) [CC]
11.50am: Star Trek: The Original Series. Today: The Enterprise helps Charlie Evans, the lone survivor of a transport crash 14 years earlier, but he threatens the security of the ship when he exhibits strange and unusual powers. (PG) [CC]
12.45pm: The Video Club. Let us be your DJ as we bring you a selection of music videos, from the latest music releases to the classics.
1.00pm: GEM’s NEW YEAR’S EVE MATINEE - The Colditz Story (1955). Allied prisoners of various nationalities pool their resources to plan numerous escapes from an ‘escape-proof’ German POW camp housed in a medieval castle. Drama, starring John Mills, Eric Portman, Lionel Jeffries. Directed by Guy Hamilton. (PG) [CC]
3.05pm: The Dukes of Hazzard. Today: The Dukes are pursued by the FBI and the syndicate after a music publisher swindles Daisy and they set out to recover her loss. (PG) [CC]
4.00pm: The Wild Wild West. Today: A criminal planning to take over Mexico leads West and Gordon to a tiny village with an underground secret. (PG-V) [CC]
5.00pm: The Love Boat. Tonight: A man dresses as a woman to chase a girl he loves; a long-wed couple rediscover each other; a detective falls for the woman he’s hired to tail. (PG) [CC]
6.00pm: GEM’s NEW YEAR’S EVE MOVIE - Mary Poppins (1964). In turn of the century London, a magical nanny employs music and adventure to help two neglected children become closer to their father. Musical, starring Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, David Tomlinson, Glynis Johns. Directed by Robert Stevenson. (G) [CC, AD]
8.45pm: GEM’s NEW YEAR’S EVE SPECIAL - The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2022. The annual Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo celebrates performances from armed forces worldwide on the Esplanade of Edinburgh Castle. (G) [CC]
10.45pm: Death in Paradise. Tonight: New Year’s Eve celebrations are cut short when a masked man stabs a woman in her own home. Jack and the team must uncover the identity of the mystery murderer before they strike again. (PG) [CC, AD]
11.55pm: Happy New Year from PTV Network. Live coverage of the midnight fireworks from Auckland’s Sky Tower.
12.05am: GEM’s NEW YEAR’S ROCKIN’ DAY MARATHON, a non-stop marathon of rock ‘n’ roll movies and specials to welcome the New Year; see below for listings.
NEW YEAR’S DAY Sunday 1 January 2023
12.05am: GEM’s NEW YEAR’S ROCKIN’ DAY MARATHON - Bombshells and Dollies. 12 contestants from all over the world journey to Las Vegas seeking to win the title of Miss Viva Las Vegas. Documentary. (G) [CC]
2.00am: Rock, Rock, Rock! (1956). A teenager will stop at nothing to get the perfect dress for her school’s big dance. Drama, starring Tuesday Weld, Chuck Berry, Alan Freed, Teddy Randazzo. Directed by Will Price. (G)
3.45am: Rock Around the Clock (1956). A music promoter decides to get into the new world of rock music. Musical, starring Bill Haley and His Comets, Alan Freed, The Platters, Freddie Bell and the Bellboys. Directed by Fred F Sears. (G)
5.30am: Jamboree! (1957). Two young people attempt to find love and success by making it in the music industry. Musical, starring Dick Clark, Frankie Avalon, Fats Domino, Charlie Gracie, Buddy Knox, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Slim Whitman, Ron Coby. Directed by Roy Lockwood. (G)
7.15am: The Girl Can’t Help It (1956). A gangster sets out to turn his girlfriend into a rock star. Comedy, starring Tom Ewell, Jayne Mansfield, Edmond O’Brien, Henry Jones, Julie London. Directed by Frank Tashlin. (G) [CC]
9.10am: King Creole (1958). A singer with a criminal past gets drawn back into the mob. Drama, starring Elvis Presley, Carolyn Jones, Walter Matthau, Dolores Hart, Dean Jagger, Vic Morrow. Directed by Michael Curtiz. (PG) [CC]
11.25am: The Video Club (ELVIS SPECIAL). A special, extended edition of The Video Club for New Year’s Day on GEM, featuring Elvis Presley’s classic hits.
12.00pm: The Beach Boys: The Lost Concert. The Beach Boys, the classic US rock group, present their stage show to a California studio audience in 1964. A special rare television event. (G)
12.30pm: Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll: Legends in Concert. A live performance from Del Shannon and guests, recorded at the Rock ‘n’ Roll Palace. (G)
2.00pm: American Hot Wax (1978). It is the early 1950s, and disc jockey Alan Freed is promoting a new style of music called rock and roll. Freed is attempting to stage the very first live rock show at Brooklyn’s Paramount Theatre, but in order to do so he has to the outrage and angry protests of parents, political conservatives, and the local police. Drama, starring Tim McIntire, Fran Drescher, Jay Leno, Laraine Newman, Moosie Drier, Jeff Altman. Directed by Floyd Mutrux. (PG) [CC]
4.00pm: One for the Money: The Birth of Rock ‘n’ Roll. For many music fans, history is divided into the long, dull centuries before rock ‘n’ roll was born and the exciting decades since, when the influential musical form changed the world. Documentary. (G) [CC]
5.45pm: Grease (1978). Good girl Sandy Olsson and greaser Danny Zuko fell in love over the summer. When they unexpectedly discover they’re now in the same high school, will they be able to rekindle their romance? Musical, starring John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, Stockard Channing. Directed by Randal Kleiser. (PG-S) [CC, AD]
8.15pm: Great Balls of Fire! (1989). A biopic of 1950s rocker Jerry Lee Lewis, whose career all but ended when he married his 13-year-old second cousin. Drama, starring Dennis Quaid, Winona Ryder, Alec Baldwin, Trey Wilson. Directed by Jim McBride. (PG-C) [CC, AD]
10.45pm: Cry-Baby (1990). In 1950s Baltimore, a bad boy manages to attract and win over the girl he likes. However, when her boyfriend learns about it, he sets out to create problems for him. Musical comedy, starring Johnny Depp, Amy Locane, Susan Tyrrell, Iggy Pop, Ricki Lake, Traci Lords, Polly Bergen. Directed by John Waters. (M-LS) [CC, AD]
12.45am: Closedown
ABBREVIATIONS
CLASSIFICATIONS
G - Approved for general viewing (at any time)
PG - Parental guidance recommended for younger viewers (at any time)
M - Suitable for mature audiences 16 years and over (M-F, 9am-3pm*; M-S, 7.30pm-5am)
16 - People under 16 years should not view (M-S, 8.30pm-5am)
18 - People under 18 years should not view (M-S, 9.30pm-5am)
AUDIENCE ADVISORIES
C - Content may offend
L - Language may offend
V - Contains violence
S - Sexual content may offend
ACCESSIBILITY
[CC] - Captions for the deaf and hearing impaired
[AD] - Audio descriptions for the blind and vision impaired
*Except during school and public holidays, as designated by the Ministry of Education.
What do you think of those mock New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day schedules?
Intrigued to hear more about Midday and the new local shows at 1.00pm and 3.30pm.
