PTV Network New Zealand & Independent Radio Service (Patrick Te Pou Broadcasting Ltd)

Don’t know if those are the sort of jobs that get advertised mate, they’d get locked in before a show get announced.

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NZ DRAMA & COMEDY IN 2024

@SA_TV @greenpea @NuStraya @Damo @LiamP @TV4 @nztv Below are the mock details.

PTV Network New Zealand (as a fictional broadcaster) is pleased to announce a slate of New Zealand-made dramas and comedies for broadcast in 2024 across PTV, Shake, GEM and PTV+, highlighting the nation’s unique and distinctive storytelling talents.

DEADLINE

Deadline is an upcoming New Zealand drama series that dives into the inner workings of an Auckland-based tabloid newspaper. Following the lives of a team of journalists and photographers through the hustle and bustle of the newsroom, the series is a true representation of the stories the reporters tell and how these stories shape the nation’s discourse. Discover the highs and lows that come with chasing a story, whether it be the sensitive tale of a Māori protest or a scandalous story of an All Black and a drug ring. With tensions building, an ever-increasing workload and wild deadlines, it’s a thrilling ride from start to finish. Get an exclusive inside look into the lives of the staff who are just a few taps away from informing the public of the issues that matter most. Deadline will feature an exciting cast that includes Ria Vandervis, Toby Leach, Theresa Healey, Reid Walker, Joe Naufahu, Jess Sayer and Tom Sainsbury.

DOUBLE PARKED

Double Parked is a hilarious sitcom about a lesbian couple, Nat (Madeleine Sami) and Steph (Antonia Prebble). The couple had been planning a trip to an IVF clinic, only to be left upset and disappointed with the results. In an effort to improve their chances of conceiving a child, they decide to take matters into their own hands and attempt a home insemination job. To their great surprise, the process ends in unexpected success and both women find themselves pregnant. Now that Double Parked has moved to its new home on Shake and PTV+, Kiwis can look forward to a brand new season in 2024. Get ready for an exciting and comical story from Nat and Steph as they embark on yet another hopeless situation turned into a hilarious, life changing experience.

HEAD HIGH II

Head High initially charted the journey of two brothers, Mana and Tai, who rose to become high school rugby stars. Three years have passed since Mana and Tai graduated, and now the local drama series Head High is making a comeback in 2024 with a fresh take on the story. A highly anticipated continuation, aptly titled Head High II, sees two sisters, Aperira (Api) and Leila, take on the ultimate challenge: to achieve their dream of the Black Fern jersey. The series has made the move to Shake and PTV+ to bring this vision to life. While Head High was a true reflection of the determination of two brothers, Head High II will see the fight to the finish amplified with two determined sisters, the gutsy Api and the fiery Leila, testing each other as well as their opponents. The stakes are high but will Api and Leila have what it takes to be crowned Black Ferns? Tune in from 2024 to join their inspiring journey. Head High II is based on the original series, created by Kate McDermott and Tim Worrall.

HOMEBOUND 3.0

Homebound 3.0 is a New Zealand sitcom that follows the story of Henry, an ambitious 30-something unpublished writer who is stuck in the same rut as many other 30-somethings. Despite his best efforts to stay afloat, Henry finds himself constantly bombarded by his Chinese parents and their family friends, all of whom are determined to get him out on arranged ‘dates’. Faced with this, Henry and a fellow thirty-something, Melissa, concoct a plan to fake a relationship so as to get their parents off their backs. Created by and starring Sam Wang with Michelle Ang, Homebound 3.0 is making the move to its new home on Shake and PTV+ with a second season set to premiere in 2024. With its unique and relatable story, Homebound 3.0 is sure to make a splash and become a must-watch for all Kiwis looking for a little escapism.

KAIRĀKAU

Presented entirely in te reo Māori with English subtitles and set in pre-colonial Aotearoa New Zealand, Kairākau is an action/drama series which sees the lives of three prominent chiefs doing whatever it takes to keep their people safe and maintain their chiefly honour. Kairākau is making the move to GEM and PTV+ with a fourth season in 2024.

LAW & ORDER: NZ

Law & Order: NZ is an upcoming crime drama, based on the long-running US TV series Law & Order, that will be coming to New Zealand on PTV and PTV+ in 2024. The series follows police officers and Crown prosecutors as they team up to solve complex criminal cases and will celebrate the importance of law and order and showcase the dedication of the officers and prosecutors who bring the worst offenders to justice. With a stellar cast of Kiwi talent - including Ben Mitchell, Ido Drent, Lisa Chappell, Will Wallace, Kerry-Lee Dewing and Peter Elliott - Law & Order: NZ will explore a wide range of criminal cases from murder to fraud, and will connect with the New Zealand justice system in a truly unique way.

NOT EVEN

Created by Dana Leaming (Ngāpuhi, Te Rarawa), Not Even is a unique comedy-drama series that follows a diverse group of fun-loving Māori and Pasifika friends as they take on the challenges of modern city life. The crew of five - Ma, Heps, Pua, Liz and Taaps - has recently moved to Wellington and is preparing to enter an exciting yet daunting new phase of life. Each of them experiences their own personal struggles, from questioning their cultural identities to grappling with career decisions and mental health issues. All the while, the bonds between them provide emotional support and friendship, allowing them to reach new heights. Now, Not Even is coming to Shake and PTV+ with a second season in 2024! Get ready to join our friends on their amazing journey - you’re sure to laugh, cry and have a blast with these five as they take on the world.

RAISED BY REFUGEES

Pax Assadi is a typical 12 year old from the early 2000s from New Zealand. His parents, like many immigrants, dream of providing him with the best possible opportunities. The Assadi family is from a refugee background. Despite his parents’ intentions for Pax to get good grades and focus on his future, he yearns to assimilate with his Kiwi peers. But this tug-of-war between tradition and assimilation is set to change. Fast forward to 2024 and Raised by Refugees, a sitcom about the Assadi family, returns with a third season on Shake and PTV+!

SUNSHINE COVE

Sunshine Cove is a serial drama unlike any other. It will explore the characters of a fictional Eastern Bay of Plenty coastal town in contemporary New Zealand, and will air twice a week on Shake and PTV+ in 2024. Offering potential of an idyllic life, Sunshine Cove (as the title suggests) is a town Kiwis have all visited for their summer holidays, known for its beaches, fishing and beauty. Yet this town is populated by everyday people with everyday hopes, dreams, worries and uncertainties just like any other place. What Sunshine Cove does offer is the unique opportunity to show the culture of small town New Zealand, highlighted through the drama that can be found in everyday life. Above all else, it shows us how we can come together as a community to laugh at ourselves and to be inspired by one another.

THE BROKENWOOD MYSTERIES

The Brokenwood Mysteries’ unique blend of wit and thrill has kept us as Kiwis guessing since it premiered in 2014. The critically acclaimed murder mystery series has now made its way to international viewers and is sure to entertain even more people with its delightful stories and quirky characters over the next coming years. Set against the stunning backdrop of NZ’s rural countryside, the series follows DSS Mike Shepherd (Neill Rea) and the Brokenwood Police as they investigate crimes and sinister events that take place in the small Kiwi town of Brokenwood. With a 10th season set to premiere on PTV and PTV+ in 2024, fans and audiences alike are eagerly awaiting the show’s return. As the original cast of characters have grown and progressed throughout each of the series’ chapters, viewers are sure to be thrilled with the exciting and original stories that will be told as the narrative continues. Filled with gripping suspense, unexpected twists and turns, and plenty of humour, The Brokenwood Mysteries is sure to keep viewers on the edge of their seat.

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I quite liked Homebound 3.0, didn’t think much of it’s lead-in though. Pretty unfunny for a sitcom, which I guess, is pretty funny really. The wrong one got a second season, in my opinoin. Any chance PTV would greenlight a second go, Paddy, Homebound 3.1?

@TV4 Homebound 3.1? What a funny title, although it’s only a spoof.

And what if many Shorty stars, past and present, had starred in other dramas on my network, like Deadline, Law & Order: NZ and Sunshine Cove (e.g. Ben Barrington, Ido Drent, Kerry-Lee Dewing, Ria Vandervis etc)?

I can imagine a potential spin-off could be interesting. Dunno how it would work, or where it would be set, but I’m sure you’ll come up with something Paddy.

@TV4 Here is a full description for one of my drama concepts on my network if it becomes a reality. Take Deadline, for example.

DEADLINE

Deadline is a 10-part drama series that shines a light on the ever-changing newspaper industry, and the fascinating situations that the journalists of the fictional Kiwi Express newspaper find themselves in.

Ria Vandervis (better known on Shorty in real life as Harper Whitley) would play the role of Jane Reynolds, a harried editor-in-chief who is constantly balancing the demands of her unruly staff while striving to keep her own life together. Deadline would follow Jane as she tries to navigate her demanding job and her chaotic personal life. Alongside her is editor Brad Fenton (Toby Leach), who is willing to challenge authority and bend the rules of journalism to get the best story.

The cast also features characters such as investigative reporter Sue Jamieson (Theresa Healey) and her ambitious photographer son Derek (Reid Walker), journalist Mike Brunt (Joe Naufahu), sports reporter Andrea Wright (Jess Sayer) and notorious gossip columnist Mark Hughes (Tom Sainsbury). Each of the characters has their own story to tell and viewers would get to witness their individual struggles as they make headlines and chase leads throughout the series.

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PTV Network New Zealand (as a fictional broadcaster) has divided the country into 8 broadcast regions for the insertion of localised commercial advertising, community notices and regional programming, such as local news, into the network feed.

The regions include Auckland (plus Northland), Hamilton (Waikato), Tauranga (Bay of Plenty), Hawke’s Bay (the east coast of the North Island), Palmerston North (the west coast of the North Island), Wellington (this region encompasses the Kāpiti Coast and Wairarapa), Christchurch (the upper South Island = Nelson, Marlborough, the West Coast and Canterbury) and Dunedin (Otago and Southland).

Each region aims to receive tailored advertising and prorgramming specific to regional interests, events or agendas. The regions are tailored to reflect New Zealand’s geography and diverse cultural landscapes, allowing for efficient and effective targeting of the population’s needs.

What do you think?

NEW ARTS SHOWS TO SCREEN ON PTV & GEM IN 2024

@SA_TV @greenpea @NuStraya @Damo @LiamP @TV4 @nztv Below is a mock press release.

PTV Network New Zealand (as a fictional broadcaster) is proud to announce its ambitious plans to launch two brand new arts shows in 2024 - Quarter Acre Paradise and Opus. With support from NZ On Air and the Ministry for Culture and Heritage, both shows will be commercial free and aired on Sundays across PTV and GEM.

QUARTER ACRE PARADISE

Experience New Zealand’s vibrant arts and culture like never before with PTV Network New Zealand’s new weekly magazine show Quarter Acre Paradise. Hosted by experienced New Zealand broadcaster and RNZ newsreader, Evie Ashton, the new show will review the arts scene and the artists at home through field items, interviews and profiles.

Quarter Acre Paradise promises to offer viewers vibrant stories without the limitations of budget; transporting its audience into a place where artisans, performers, curators and creatives are given the spotlight. Inspired by New Zealand’s unique and diverse art and culture, the show will bring viewers on a journey to explore every element, from the country’s flourishing visual artforms to its carefully-crafted film-making and theatre productions.

Exploring and celebrating the country’s distinctive culture, Quarter Acre Paradise will also look at the influences, trends and inspiration behind the artwork created by our local and international talent and focus on the stories, traditions and innovations of our nation’s culture scene.

Quarter Acre Paradise will go to air Sunday at 10am on PTV and PTV+.

OPUS

Designed for classical music and ballet lovers, Opus is PTV Network New Zealand’s weekly, feature-length series devoted to classical music, ballet and opera. Hosted by RNZ Concert presenter David Morriss, each episode will feature a handpicked selection of one-off specials made exclusively for television - all commercial free.

In 2024 Opus will introduce viewers to an array of renowned classical music and art pieces, both in New Zealand and overseas. The series is dedicated to showcasing music from celebrated musicians and composers such as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Johann Sebastian Bach, Chopin and Vivaldi, as well as memorable classic ballets like The Nutcracker and Swan Lake, plus performances by the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra and the Royal New Zealand Ballet.

In addition to its classical music and ballet content, Opus will bring viewers unique and interesting documentary specials concerning the musicians, movements and works of art that have shaped classical music and ballet as we know it. This makes Opus a great learning tool for those who want to further explore the performing arts, and connect to some of the most influential figures throughout history.

Opus will go to air Sunday from noon until 3pm on GEM and PTV+. An audio simulcast will be available on RNZ Concert.

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MAJOR REBRAND FOR 2024

@SA_TV @greenpea @NuStraya @Damo @LiamP @TV4 @nztv Below are the mock details.

Summer’s here and Christmas is on the way! As the festive season nears, I have decided to give my dream television network, PTV Network New Zealand, a bit of a makeover.

New channels were brought in and all existing channels were revamped through new names, although some logos would remain the same as they are now.


I changed the name of one of my network’s dream channels, GEM (General Entertainment and Movies) to PTV Gold; it’s a specialised entertainment channel designed to cater for the ‘baby boomer’ generation, or ‘the golden years’, i.e. all Kiwis aged 50+.

PTV Gold would offer a range of documentaries, factual programmes, classic movies and quality British dramas and entertainment.

To avoid confusion, its branding is consciously distinct from the SuperGold card offered for people aged 65 years and over.


I renamed Bold to PTV Nitro, a male-oriented general entertainment and sport channel.

Targeting Kiwi men aged 25-54, PTV Nitro would offer explosive entertainment that is a thrilling relief from the monotony of daily life, with additional free-to-air sport, top-notch factual content and scripted programmes, and an array of action-packed movies.

The name “Nitro” is derived from the term ‘nitroglycerin’, a liquid substance used to make explosives and for medicinal purposes.


I created the concept of a free-to-air channel named PTV X, dedicated to observational documentary (OB DOC) and factual content. It is intended that the channel would run between 6pm and midnight, seven days a week.

Meanwhile, a commercial-free block of educational programmes for preschoolers would be shown on PTV X from 6am to 6pm on a daily basis.

The “X” in the its name originates from a Roman numeral for 10 and does not denote a pornographic adult entertainment channel.



Those aged between 18-39 should be pleased to hear that PTV Shake Extra (formerly Shake Extra), an extension of PTV Shake (formerly Shake) as a youth-oriented general entertainment channel, had been given a bit of a revamp.

All preschool programming had been moved to a new channel, PTV X; this leaves PTV Shake Extra, a supplementary channel to PTV Shake, with a full day of ‘extra’ entertainment from noon to 1am, extending to 2am on Friday and Saturday nights and starting at 9am on weekend mornings.

Nonetheless, the respective channels’ logos would stay the same.


I combined the concepts of my network’s two lifestyle channels, Home and Taste, to form a single channel: PTV Breeze.

This ‘super lifestyle’ channel would air a wide selection of shows about home improvement and DIY, gardening, travel, food and other lifestyle topics, on a daily basis from 7am to 1am. Please note that this channel name has no affiliation to The Breeze which, in real life, is New Zealand’s top radio brand owned by MediaWorks.

Here’s a ‘did you know?’ fact. In 2017 Heke Beer was launched by the Waiheke Brewing Company in order to promote a local lager from and reflect Waiheke Island. However, David Rankin, a descendant of the Ngāpuhi chief Hone Heke, expressed his displeasure at the brand’s name, claiming it was well-known throughout Ngāpuhi and the rest of the country, threatening to take legal action if the name was not removed.


In order to provide further content for its male-oriented general entertainment and sport channel, PTV Nitro, I created PTV Nitro Extra as a supplementary channel and brand extension. While using the same programme format as PTV Nitro, PTV Nitro Extra would contain ‘extra’ programming that would not fit onto the main channel.



In order to provide further content for its female-oriented general entertainment channel, PTV Peach (formerly Peach), I created PTV Peach Extra as a supplementary channel and brand extension. While using the same programme format as PTV Peach, PTV Peach Extra would contain ‘extra’ programming that would not fit onto the main channel.


I gave MAX and MAX 2, my dream network’s two music television channels, an overhaul and added a third: MAX 3.

MAX would have a Top 40 playlist during the day and niche playlists by night. MAX 2 would feature ‘hot adult contemporary’ music videos with the addition of regular features like ‘old school’ hip hop and RnB and 90s rock. MAX 3, however, would broadcast classic music videos by day and classic rock by night.

The internationally acclaimed and New Zealand-based vocal trio, The Madeleines, specialise in jazz, swing and glamour. Their 1950s dresses have inspired the colour themes of each MAX-branded channel (see the mock advertisement below).


Photo: Supplied. No copyright infringement intended.

What do you think?

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I like the new brands, @PaddyTePou, but I have a few things that I would like to address:

  • I like the rename to Nitro, but I think the font looks wrong, as it makes the I and the T look weird, so maybe try a different font for Nitro & Nitro Extra
  • When I hear X, I don’t think of documentaries, I think of the social media platform formerly known as Twitter. I suggest a new name [Docs, Knowledge, Info, just to name a few ideas] and new font.
  • How long do Nitro Extra and Peach Extra broadcast for each day?
  • Is there an all day [6am to 6pm or 7pm] channel for older kids, like there is for preschoolers on X?
  • Do the kids channels have brands, and if so what are they, and are there 2 brands, one for preschoolers and one for older kids?

Everything else is amazing, so it doesn’t need changes or clarification. Thank you.

Certainly not what I was expecting, but also it’s a bit random.

What’s the relevance of the 10?

You’re welcome, @iheartpizza, and thanks for your response.

Just given the PTV Nitro and PTV Nitro Extra logos a bit of an update, and here they are…

Just renamed PTV X to PTV 10 in an effort to avoid confusion with X (formerly known as Twitter) which was acquired by Elon Musk.

PTV 10 would carry observational documentary and factual programming from 6pm until closedown at midnight, preceded by a 12-hour block of preschool programming from 6am to 6pm daily.

No. There are no plans to launch separate kids channels for free-to-air television in New Zealand if my dream network becomes a reality, but there are plans for a brand called PTV Kids Club.

PTV Shake, as a youth-oriented general entertainment channel that targets all Kiwis aged 18-39, would carry programming for older kids in the early morning and afternoon with the inclusion of a daytime comedy and drama block for young adults from 10am until 2.30pm. Teen magazines would fill the half hour, 6.30pm slots on Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings as a sandwich between The Simpsons (at 6pm) and Family Guy (at 7pm).

There would be designated preschool slots on PTV Shake from 8.30-10am and 2.30-3.30pm on weekdays and 6-7am on weekends; however, to offer a choice for preschoolers, PTV 10 would show a commercial-free block of age-appropriate programming from 6am to 6pm as an alternative to PTV Shake’s own kids programming. It is intended that the preschool content would be first-run from 6-10am and that it would be repeated twice (10am-2pm, 2-6pm) - e.g. Sesame Street plays daily at 8am with same-day repeats at noon and 4pm.

PTV Nitro Extra and PTV Peach Extra, as supplementary channels/brand extensions, would usually broadcast from 2pm until around midnight on a daily basis and provide ‘extra’ programming that cannot be fitted on PTV Nitro and PTV Peach as parent channels/brands. Meanwhile, PTV Nitro and PTV Peach would typically open their respective daily broadcasts at 9am and cease transmission at around 1am, unless major sporting events - live, delayed or as a full replay - air prior to the parent channels’ usual start time of 9am.

I have enjoyed sharing my mock designs and ideas, within my dream television network, with you as it doesn’t have to be real. More to come in the future.

CHRISTMAS VIEWING ON PTV

@greenpea @NuStraya @nztv @TV4 Below are the mock viewing highlights when it comes to Christmas.

At PTV Network New Zealand we’re presenting our best talent in a great selection of programming to commemorate Christmas. As Kiwis are enjoying different spots across the country - such as patios, holiday parks and coasts - our main channel, PTV, will be airing a variety of shows, movies and specials that will mark the season.

MONDAY 18 December

On Monday 18 December at 7.30pm PTV will be bringing us a special Christmas edition of the ever-popular celebrity-themed general knowledge quiz, Pointless Celebrities. Hosts Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman will be joined by a whole range of fantastic celebrity guest stars: Aled Jones, Russell Watson, Ben Cohen, Kristina Rihanoff, Kriss Akabusi, Shakira Akabusi, Jamie Laing and Sophie Habboo.

We can also look forward to something special at 8.30pm as Coca-Cola Christmas in the Park comes to your screens in a two-hour presentation, featuring edited highlights from the Auckland and Christchurch shows. Tune in to see performances from headline acts Georgia Lines and Kaylee Bell and be sure to keep your eyes peeled for some of New Zealand’s top musical talent!

TUESDAY 19 December

On Tuesday 19 December at 7.30pm PTV will screen a special Christmas edition of its popular game show, Tipping Point Lucky Stars, featuring some special celebrity contestants. Host Ben Shephard will be joined by Derrick Evans (aka “Mr Motivator”), Josie Gibson and Len Goodman, in what will sadly be his final appearance after succumbing to cancer earlier this year at age 78. Ben will be hoping to create some Christmas cheer as the contestants brave the tipping point machine in the hopes of winning a record-breaking 20,000 pounds towards their chosen charities.

That’s followed at 8.30pm by the iconic 1988 action-thriller, Die Hard. Directed by John McTiernan, Die Hard stars the legendary Bruce Willis as John McClane, a New York City police officer with a knack for getting himself in and out of exciting and often dangerous situations. McClane is trying to save his wife and several other hostages from a group of highly skilled and heavily armed German terrorists, led by the diabolical Hans Gruber (famously portrayed by the late Alan Rickman). Thanks to McClane’s driving wit and relentless heroism, he is able to outsmart the terrorists and ultimately succeed in his mission. But just as anything thrilling, Die Hard will still keep viewers on the edge till the end.

WEDNESDAY 20 December

On Wednesday 20 December at 7.30pm PTV will screen the ‘family blockbuster without the family’, Home Alone, where a young eight-year-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) is accidentally left behind by his family as they fly to Paris for a Christmas holiday. Kevin soon finds himself in the centre of a comedic battle of wits against two bumbling burglars (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern). Directed by Chris Columbus, Home Alone went on to be one of the highest grossing films of all-time and even spawned a 1992 sequel (see Thursday).

At 9.45pm, things switch from the big screen to the small screen as PTV screens Barry Manilow’s A Very Barry Christmas, a one-off 2022 special where the music legend will be performing some of his greatest hits, such as “Mandy” and “Copacabana” as well as some iconic Christmas songs. Accompanied by his live band, the special will document Barry Manilow’s unique fusion of the Christmas and music cultures. This will be a show like no other and is sure to be highly entertaining for fans of both Manilow’s music and Christmas alike.

THURSDAY 21 December

On Thursday 21 December at 7.30pm PTV will screen Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, the sequel to the classic family blockbuster starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Tim Curry and Brenda Fricker. In the sequel Kevin finds himself in an unexpected situation when he mistakenly boards a plane to New York City, separating himself from his family heading to Miami. As fate would have it, he runs into two of his old foes, who are planning to rob a toy shop. If you love the original film then you’ll love this festive sequel as it brings all the slapstick comedy and festive cheer of the first movie to spectacularly joyous heights.

After the screening of Home Alone 2 the Elvis-themed Christmas 2023 special, Christmas at Graceland, will follow at 9.55pm and feature artists like Alanis Morissette, John Legend, Kacey Musgraves, Lana Del Rey, Post Malone and more as they perform The King’s famous songs from his home in Graceland.

FRIDAY 22 December

By hokey! On Friday 22 December 2023 at 7.30pm Jason Reeves and Matilda Green will host an hour-long Christmas edition of PTV’s travelling quiz show, It’s in the Bag. Jase and Matilda will be in the beautiful Bay of Islands town of Kerikeri and there will be a variety of prizes worth more than $70,000 at stake. The question is, the money or the bag?

The Royal Variety Performance 2023 will follow at 8.30pm and be hosted by the esteemed British TV presenter and comedian, Bradley Walsh. The evening will be full of sensational performances from Cher and Britain’s Got Talent winner Viggo Venn, plus McFly, Rick Astley, Zara Larsson, Paloma Faith, Hannah Waddingham and Melanie C amongst others. There will also be a special celebration to mark 100 years of Disney.

SATURDAY 23 December

Christmas is just around the corner and Santa Claus is preparing to celebrate his grand entrance – on Saturday 23 December 2023. Put on your festive best and get ready to experience the magic of Christmas like never before, as the Farmers Santa Parade returns for its 90th year in the city of Auckland! Tune in to PTV at 6.30pm to catch all the exciting highlights hosted by Jesse Mulligan and The Edge’s Meg Mansell and Dan Webby. You can look forward to a stunning array of festive floats, giant inflatables, marching bands and an array of the performing arts - all in the celebration of the festive season. But all eyes will be on Santa as he arrives on his traditional sleigh, waving and cheers coming from all around. Let’s come together to make this the biggest and best Santa Parade yet!

The Farmers Santa Parade special will be followed at 7.30pm by the 1994 family classic, The Santa Clause, which tells the story of Scott Calvin (played by Tim Allen), a divorced father who accidentally causes Santa Claus to fall off his roof on Christmas Eve. In order to save Christmas, Scott takes on the role of Santa Claus and, with the help of his son Charlie, delivers presents to all the children around the world. Along the way, Scott learns valuable lessons about the true meaning of Christmas and the importance of family. The Santa Clause is an uplifting and heartwarming family Christmas movie that is sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face.

Later (for the grown-ups!), The Last Leg Christmas Special 2023 - recorded off the satellite from the UK less than 12 hours earlier - will follow at 9.40pm. This show will be hosted by the Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker, each of whom have only two legs between them. Expect plenty of laughter as two special guests, Tom Davis and Alison Hammond, will join the team to offer an even more entertaining show. This Christmas special from The Last Leg promises to be an hour of great jokes which are sure to get us as Kiwis in the festive mood.

And finally, don’t miss out on Mariah Carey’s 2022 concert special, Mariah Carey: Merry Christmas to All!, which will screen at 10.55pm (after a 15 minute break for the late news at 10.40pm)! The chart-topping pop sensation will perform some of her most iconic Christmas hits, such as “All I Want for Christmas Is You”. Stay up late for a night of cheerful music and Christmas cheer!

CHRISTMAS EVE

PTV will kick off its Christmas Eve menu at 6.30pm with a festive edition of the British quiz show, The Weakest Link. Host Romesh Ranganathan will be joined by celebrity contestants Alex Jones, Cliff Parisi, Coleen Nolan, Dane Baptiste, Mel Schilling, Danny Beard, Paul Zerdin and Meryl Williams as they compete to win up to 50,000 pounds for a charity of their choice. The show was recorded off the satellite from the UK only 12 hours prior.

Then, at 7.30pm, PTV Network New Zealand will be decking its Auckland studio with boughs of pohutukawa in preparation for PTV’s studio-based Chistmas extravaganza - The PTV Christmas Show. Hosted by Stephen McIvor and Laura Tupou, this two-hour special will undoubtedly be full of music and entertainment with a top-notch band fronted by Mark Dennison and vocals by The Madeleines and two PTV Network Mascots - Miss Chevelle Charlotte and Miss Jazzylicious. The show will also feature personalities from programmes on the network, including Ryan Bridge (Sunrise), Kirstie Stanway and Jeff Wilson (PTV Sport), John Campbell (Nightline), Amanda Gillies (PTV News), Peter Wolfkamp (Dulux Home Front), Carly Flynn (Palmers Garden Show), Nickson Clark (Getaway), Brook Ruscoe (Short Sportz) and Tegan Yorwarth (Infocus). For the ultimate festive delight, The PTV Christmas Show will also feature special appearances by Ray Woolf, Sharon Emirali and the Howie Morrison Jr Quartet - so don’t miss out on what’s sure to be the best Christmas show ever!

Dolly Parton will be returning to Dollywood to star in her special, Dolly Parton’s Mountain Magic Christmas, which will make its New Zealand television debut on PTV at 9.45pm (after a 15 minute break for the late news at the earlier time of 9.30pm). The special will be inspired by the optimistic energy of the Great Smoky Mountains and include guest appearances from Jimmy Fallon, Willie Nelson, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jimmie Allen, Zach Williams, Miley Cyrus and many more. Through song, dance and comedy, Dolly will bring the mountains alive with some of her classic Christmas tunes, festive favourites and some special new numbers. Kiwis will experience a magical night, full of wonder and joy, with dazzling costumes, joyful performances, uplifting messages and a spirit of kindness and goodwill that will inspire the festive season.

Finally, at 11.45pm, join Chris Kirk as he introduces full delayed coverage of the YMCA Carols by Candlelight ceremony from Victoria Square in Christchurch - exclusive to PTV. This beautiful event celebrates tradition, family, Christmas and the strong spirit of the community. It includes performances from the Salvation Army Band, guest performers, a large Christchurch choir and other festive surprises. Plus, with it being 100% commercial free, it is sure to be an amazing Christmas experience.

CHRISTMAS DAY

Christmas Night on PTV is about to become a magical event to remember with three amazing Disney specials showing.

It all begins at 6.30pm with the festive special Prep & Landing. Here Kiwis get to witness an elite unit of elves as they prepare homes for Santa’s special visit. Then 6.55pm will bring Prep & Landing 2: Naughty vs Nice to the screen, in this story the elves are back and this time competing against each other. 7.20pm will be graced with The Wonderful World of Disney: Magical Holiday Celebration, a 2022 musical special where Derek and Julianne Hough play hosts. During the show, at Disney resorts located in Florida and Hawaii, performances from Becky G, Chloe Flower, Black Eyed Peas, Katharine McPhee, Il Volo, Jordin Sparks, Maren Morris, Meghan Trainor, Ne-Yo and Run DMC will be featured.

Christmas Night will be extra special with the 2006 movie, Last Holiday, at 9pm (right after The King’s Christmas Message at 8.50pm). It stars Queen Latifah in the lead role as Georgia Byrd, a department store assistant from New Orleans who is diagnosed with a terminal illness and decides to spend her remaining savings on a dream holiday to the fictional country of Krymka. The movie follows Georgia as she enjoys the free rein of being thought dead wrong, exploring the beauty of Krymka with her new friends while having a wonderful time. Queen Latifah is sure to bring the house down with her acting prowess, providing a fantastic evening of entertainment to celebrate this Christmas.

As the much-anticipated Christmas Night menu winds up on PTV, viewers are in for a treat with the airing of Richard Curtis’ beloved romantic comedy, Love Actually at 11.05pm (after a 10 minute break for the late news at 10.55pm). Just like in 2003, when the film first hit cinema screens, a star-studded cast fill the screen: Hugh Grant as the Prime Minister (as only he can be), Keira Knightley as the Romeo and Juliet-style aspiring singer, Colin Firth as the crestfallen romantic in pursuit of a Portuguese housekeeper and Emma Thompson as the quietly sad cuckold wife. But one of the actors the viewers can cherish tonight is the late Alan Rickman, displaying his signature wit and poise as the perspicacious husband caught in the web of hope and dismay common in Curtis’ work.

BOXING DAY

It’s Boxing Day at 7.30pm and PTV is excited to bring viewers the much-anticipated Doctor Who: The Church on Ruby Road. This special episode has been fast-tracked from the UK, playing just 12 hours after its original broadcast! For this very special story the Fifteenth Doctor will be played by Ncuti Gatwa and he will be joined by the debut of Ruby Sunday, played by Millie Gibson. This will be the Doctor’s first epic adventure and promises to be an enthralling adventure as the Doctor and Ruby explore the secrets of the Church on Ruby Road. Who better to join the Doctor on his initial journey than Ruby herself, a mysterious and inquisitive companion who can help guide the Doctor through this unknown world. The Doctor Who team promise an adventure of epic proportions, with plenty of scares along the way.

This will be followed at 8.35pm by the classic 1990 action-thriller, Die Hard 2, starring Bruce Willis. This action-packed movie, the second instalment of the Die Hard franchise, sees John McClane (Willis) take on a band of terrorists who have taken control of the airport in Washington DC. As action-packed as the first film, Die Hard 2 is sure to have viewers on the edge of their seats as McClane fights to save his wife and the passengers of the plane. The film is full of exciting stunts and intense moments that will leave fans breathless.

Catch a bumper package of programming throughout the Christmas season on PTV.

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CHRISTMAS VIEWING ON PTV - SCHEDULES

Below are the mock evening schedules (and a full Christmas Day schedule) for PTV Network New Zealand (as a fictional broadcaster) and its main channel, PTV, from 6pm until closedown.

MONDAY 18 December

6.00pm: PTV News (6PM BULLETIN). The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast.
6.30pm: The Smurfs: A Christmas Carol. Grouchy Smurf refuses to celebrate Christmas with his fellow Smurfs and behaves rudely towards them. Soon, three special spirits appear to teach him to appreciate the holiday. Animated.
7.00pm: Modern Family. Comedy with three modern-day families from California as they try to deal with their kids, quirky spouses and jobs in their own unique ways. Tonight: Claire and Phil threaten to take away Christmas when the kids get into trouble; and Cam and Mitch take Lily to have her first picture taken with Santa.
7.30pm: Pointless Celebrities. Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman host a celebrity edition of the British quiz show in which contestants try to come up with the answers that nobody else could think of. Tonight’s celebrity contestants include Aled Jones, Russell Watson, Ben Cohen, Kristina Rihanoff, Kriss Akabusi, Shakira Akabusi, Jamie Laing and Sophie Habboo.
8.30pm: PTV SPECIAL - Coca-Cola Christmas in the Park 2023. Join us for highlights of the best Christmas celebration in the country with unforgettable performances by Georgia Lines, Kaylee Bell, Lavina Williams, Vince Harder, Tom Batchelor, Ella Monnery and numerous other talented artists at the Auckland Domain and Hagley Park in Christchurch.
10.30pm: PTV News (LATE BULLETIN). A final wrap of the day’s national and international news and sport, plus a national weather forecast.
10.45pm: Mike & Molly. Comedy with two different people who meet at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and fall in love. Tonight: Mike wants to find the perfect Christmas gift for Molly for their first Christmas together. However, he has no idea what to get her.
11.15pm: PTV’s SUMMERTIME MOVIE - The Choice (2016). A bachelor’s rocky first encounter with his new neighbour leads to a passionate love story filled with hope and hardship. Based on Nicholas Sparks’ 2007 novel of the same name. Drama, starring Benjamin Walker, Teresa Palmer, Maggie Grace, Alexandra Daddario, Tom Welling, Tom Wilkinson. Directed by Ross Katz.
1.35am: Closedown

TUESDAY 19 December

6.00pm: PTV News (6PM BULLETIN). The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast.
6.30pm: Shrek the Halls. Shrek is in a fix when Fiona asks him to celebrate Christmas. To fulfil her wish, he purchases a book titled ‘Christmas For Village Idiots’ and starts reading it. Animated.
7.00pm: Modern Family. Comedy with three modern-day families from California as they try to deal with their kids, quirky spouses and jobs in their own unique ways. Tonight: The family is gathered at Jay and Gloria’s pool on a sunny December day, and that’s where they realise that everyone will be scattered this coming Christmas, so if they want to celebrate together, then it will have to be today.
7.30pm: Tipping Point Lucky Stars. Ben Shephard hosts a Christmas edition of the British game show in which three celebrity contestants brave the tipping point machine in the hopes of winning a record-breaking 20,000 pounds. Tonight’s contestants include Derrick Evans (aka “Mr Motivator”), Josie Gibson and Len Goodman, who sadly passed away earlier this year.
8.30pm: PTV’s TUESDAY MOVIE SPECIAL - Die Hard (1988). A New York City police officer tries to save his estranged wife and several others taken hostage by terrorists during a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles. Action, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Alexander Godunov, Bonnie Bedelia. Directed by John McTiernan.
11.10pm: PTV News (LATE BULLETIN). A final wrap of the day’s national and international news and sport, plus a national weather forecast.
11.25pm: PTV’s SUMMERTIME MOVIE - The Lucky One (2012). A Marine credits his good-luck charm - a photo of an unknown woman - for saving him. Based on Nicholas Sparks’ 2006 novel of the same name. Drama, starring Zac Efron, Taylor Schilling, Jay R Ferguson, Blythe Danner. Directed by Scott Hicks.
1.35am: Closedown

WEDNESDAY 20 December

6.00pm: PTV News (6PM BULLETIN). The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast.
6.30pm: Merry Madagascar. Santa Claus loses his memory after arriving on the island of Madagascar and it is up to Alex, Marty, Gloria, Melman and the penguins to deliver presents for Christmas. Animated.
7.00pm: Modern Family. Comedy with three modern-day families from California as they try to deal with their kids, quirky spouses and jobs in their own unique ways. Tonight: In hopes of the perfect white Christmas she never had in Columbia, Gloria rents a cabin in the mountains for the whole family, including Andy, to celebrate the Christmas holiday.
7.30pm: PTV’s WEDNESDAY MOVIE SPECIAL - Home Alone (1990). An eight-year-old boy is accidentally left behind when his family leaves for France. At first, he’s happy to be in charge; but when thieves try to break into his home, he puts up a fight like no other. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern. Directed by Chris Columbus.
9.45pm: PTV SPECIAL - Barry Manilow’s A Very Barry Christmas. Legendary singer-songwriter Barry Manilow presents a one-off Christmas special in which he, accompanied by his renowned 24-piece band, performs a combination of beloved hits and Christmas classics. Songs include “Mandy”, “Copacabana” and many more.
10.45pm: PTV News (LATE BULLETIN). A final wrap of the day’s national and international news and sport, plus a national weather forecast.
11.00pm: PTV’s SUMMERTIME MOVIE - Defiance (2008). Jewish brothers in German-occupied Eastern Europe escape into a Belorussian forest, where they join Russian resistance fighters, and endeavour to build a village in order to protect themselves and about one thousand Jewish non-combatants. War drama, starring Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber, Jamie Bell, Alexa Davalos, Allan Corduner, Mark Feuerstein. Directed by Edward Zwick.
1.45am: Closedown

THURSDAY 21 December

6.00pm: PTV News (6PM BULLETIN). The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast.
6.30pm: Kung Fu Panda Holiday. Po is assigned by Master Shifu to host the annual Winter Feast at the Jade Palace. With the help of the Furious Five, he works to make an unforgettable event. Animated.
7.00pm: Modern Family. Comedy with three modern-day families from California as they try to deal with their kids, quirky spouses and jobs in their own unique ways. Tonight: Hayley works to figure out the best time to give the family a Christmas gift they will never forget; Phil borrows the family Christmas tree for a house-showing; and Jay, Gloria and Joe deal with unwelcome holiday visitors.
7.30pm: PTV’s THURSDAY MOVIE SPECIAL - Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992). Kevin accidentally boards a flight to New York City and gets separated from his family who are on their way to Miami. He then bumps into two of his old enemies, who plan to rob a toy store. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Tim Curry, Brenda Fricker. Directed by Chris Columbus.
9.55pm: PTV SPECIAL - Christmas at Graceland. A one-off Christmas special celebrating Elvis Presley at his iconic home with performances by Alanis Morissette, John Legend, Kacey Musgraves, Lana Del Rey, Post Malone and many more.
10.55pm: PTV News (LATE BULLETIN). A final wrap of the day’s national and international news and sport, plus a national weather forecast.
11.10pm: PTV’s SUMMERTIME MOVIE - Adrift (2018). A young couple’s sailing adventure becomes a fight to survive when their yacht faces a catastrophic hurricane. Based on the 2002 book “Red Sky in Mourning” by Tami Oldham Ashcraft, a true story set during the events of Hurricane Raymond in 1983. Drama, starring Shailene Woodley, Sam Claflin. Directed by Baltasar Kormákur.
1.15am: Closedown

FRIDAY 22 December

6.00pm: PTV News (6PM BULLETIN). The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast.
6.30pm: Toy Story That Time Forgot. During a post-Christmas party Trixie and her friends meet Mason’s dinosaur-themed action figures, The Battlesaurs. But they are shocked to find that the Battlesaurs behave aggressively. Animated.
7.00pm: Modern Family. Comedy with three modern-day families from California as they try to deal with their kids, quirky spouses and jobs in their own unique ways. Tonight: Mitch suspects Cam has an ulterior motive for keeping everyone happy for Christmas dinner; Claire tries to dodge Jay’s job offer to work at his dog bed company; and Luke has to deal with the consequences of kissing Manny’s ex-girlfriend, Sherri.
7.30pm: It’s in the Bag. By hokey! Jason Reeves and Matilda Green host an all new version of the classic travelling quiz show in which contestants answer three questions and have the choice of either the money or the bag. Tonight’s hour-long Christmas special, packed with surprises and prizes valued at more than $70,000, is from Kerikeri.
8.30pm: PTV SPECIAL - The Royal Variety Performance 2023. Bradley Walsh presents a variety concert in the presence of Their Royal Highnesses, The Prince and Princess of Wales and The Crown Princess and Prince Daniel of Sweden at the Royal Albert Hall in London. Guests include Cher, McFly, Zara Larsson, Paloma Faith, Hannah Waddingham, Lang Lang, Melanie C, Viggo Venn, Malevo, Derren Brown’s Unbelievable, Tom Allen, Rosie Jones, Ellie Taylor and Simon Brodkin, plus the casts from “Crazy for You” and “Sister Act” (featuring Beverley Knight) and an exclusive 100th Anniversary celebration from Disney Theatrical.
11.00pm: PTV News (LATE BULLETIN). A final wrap of the day’s national and international news and sport, plus a national weather forecast.
11.15pm: PTV SPORT - NBL Slam. Highlights from round 12 of the 2023/24 NBL season.
11.45pm: PTV’s FRIDAY LATE MOVIE - Dear John (2010). A romantic story about a soldier who falls for a conservative college student while he’s home on leave. Based on Nicholas Sparks’ 2006 novel of the same name. Drama, starring Channing Tatum, Amanda Seyfried, Henry Thomas, Scott Porter, Richard Jenkins. Directed by Lasse Hallström.
2.10am: Closedown

SATURDAY 23 December

6.00pm: PTV News (6PM BULLETIN). The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast.
6.30pm: PTV SPECIAL - Farmers Santa Parade 2023. Jesse Mulligan and The Edge’s Meg Mansell and Dan Webby present highlights of the annual Farmers Santa Parade, the largest annual community event in Auckland.
7.30pm: PTV’s SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES - The Santa Clause (1994). By helping Santa Claus with a Christmas crisis, a divorced father unknowingly agrees to become the next Santa Claus. Now, he has to deal with a suspicious former wife while trying to keep his secret safe. Comedy, starring Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, Wendy Crewson, David Krumholtz, Peter Boyle. Directed by John Pasquin.
9.40pm: The Last Leg Christmas Special 2023 (EXPRESS FROM THE UK). Hosts Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe an Alex Brooker are joined by special guests Tom Davis and Alison Hammond for some festive season fun and frivolity in this topical comedy chat show, fresh off the satellite from the UK less than 12 hours ago.
10.40pm: PTV News (LATE BULLETIN). A final wrap of the day’s national and international news and sport, plus a national weather forecast.
10.55pm: PTV SPECIAL - Mariah Carey: Merry Christmas to All! Pop sensation Mariah Carey presents a one-off concert special in which she performs some of her most iconic Christmas hits, including “All I Want for Christmas Is You”.
12.55am: PTV’s SATURDAY LATE MOVIE - It’s Christmas, Carol! (2012). A workaholic publishing executive is haunted by the ghost of her former boss on Christmas Eve, who reminds her to pay attention to her personal life and mend her ways. Drama, starring Emmanuelle Vaugier, Carrie Fisher. Directed by Michael M Scott.
2.40am: Closedown

CHRISTMAS EVE

6.00pm: PTV News (6PM BULLETIN). The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast.
6.30pm: The Weakest Link (EXPRESS FROM THE UK). Romesh Ranganathan hosts a Christmas edition of the British quiz show in which celebrity contestants Alex Jones, Cliff Parisi, Coleen Nolan, Dane Baptiste, Mel Schilling, Danny Beard, Paul Zerdin and Meryl Williams compete to win up to 50,000 pounds for their chosen charity. Recorded off the satellite from the UK less than 12 hours ago.
7.30pm: PTV SPECIAL - The PTV Christmas Show. Stephen McIvor and Laura Tupou host a two-hour Christmas variety special brimming with live music and entertainment, plus interviews with the network stars, in front of a live studio audience. Special guests include Ray Woolf, Sharon Emirali and the Howie Morrison Jr Quartet.
9.30pm: PTV News (LATE BULLETIN). A final wrap of the day’s national and international news and sport, plus a national weather forecast.
9.45pm: PTV’s CHRISTMAS EVE SPECIAL - Dolly Parton’s Mountain Magic Christmas. Inspired by the hopeful spirit of the Great Smoky Mountains, Dolly Parton returns to Dollywood to star in a one-off Christmas special with special guests Jimmy Fallon, Willie Nelson, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jimmie Allen, Zach Williams, Miley Cyrus and many more.
11.45pm: PTV’s CHRISTMAS EVE SPECIAL - YMCA Carols by Candlelight. Chris Kirk presents full delayed and commercial-free coverage from Victoria Square in Christchurch of the annual YMCA Carols by Candlelight, featuring the Salvation Army Band, guest performers, a combined Christchurch choir and a few twists to help celebrate.
12.45am: Closedown

CHRISTMAS DAY

7.25am: Merry Christmas from the PTV Network Mascots. Featuring the vocal harmonies of The Madeleines, New Zealand’s premier vocal trio.
7.30am: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Rudolph, a reindeer born with a unique glowing red nose, struggles to find acceptance. His life changes when he saves his friend Clarice and his parents from evil monsters. Animated.
8.20am: Frosty the Snowman. A group of children try to save Frosty the snowman after it comes to life wearing Professor Hinkle’s hat. On seeing this, Professor Hinkle goes to every extent to retrieve it. Animated.
8.45am: Frosty Returns. The continuing exploits of the famous snowman as he goes up against a more powerful force which threatens all of Christmas. Animated.
9.10am: A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa. When Gonzo accidentally diverts three letters to Santa, he talks Kermit and his friends into delivering them to the North Pole personally.
9.55am: PTV’s CHRISTMAS MORNING MOVIE - The Christmas Note (2015). After moving into a new house, a woman befriends her next-door neighbour and helps her track down a mystery sibling she never knew she had. Based on Donna VanLiere’s 2011 book of the same name. Drama, starring Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Leah Gibson, Greg Vaughan, Lynda Boyd. Directed by Terry Ingram.
11.20am: Farmers Santa Parade 2023 (R). Jesse Mulligan and The Edge’s Meg Mansell and Dan Webby present highlights of the annual Farmers Santa Parade, the largest annual community event in Auckland.
12.10pm: The PTV Christmas Show (R). Stephen McIvor and Laura Tupou host a two-hour Christmas variety special brimming with live music and entertainment, plus interviews with the network stars, in front of a live studio audience. Special guests include Ray Woolf, Sharon Emirali and the Howie Morrison Jr Quartet.
1.55pm: PTV’s CHRISTMAS DAY MATINEE - The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992). Scrooge, an old miser who dislikes Christmas, is visited by spirits who foretell his future and share secrets from his past and present, which helps change his view on life. The Muppets present their own touching rendition of Charles Dickens’ classic tale. Musical, starring Michael Caine, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire, Jerry Nelson, Frank Oz. Directed by Brian Henson.
3.25pm: Mariah Carey: Merry Christmas to All! (R). Pop sensation Mariah Carey presents a one-off concert special in which she performs some of her most iconic Christmas hits, including “All I Want for Christmas Is You”.
5.10pm: It’s in the Bag (R). By hokey! Jason Reeves and Matilda Green host an all new version of the classic travelling quiz show in which contestants answer three questions and have the choice of either the money or the bag. Tonight’s hour-long Christmas special, packed with surprises and prizes valued at more than $70,000, is from Kerikeri.
6.00pm: PTV News (6PM BULLETIN). The latest national and international news, including sport and a national weather forecast.
6.30pm: Prep & Landing. Wayne gets a new rookie partner, Lanny, after his previous partner got the promotion he wanted. Lanny has to remind Wayne of the Spirit of Christmas and the importance of being an elf in Santa’s Prep and Landing elite unit. Animated.
6.55pm: Prep & Landing 2: Naughty vs Nice. Lanny and Wayne race to recover classified North Pole technology. Animated.
7.20pm: PTV SPECIAL - The Wonderful World of Disney: Magical Holiday Celebration. Derek and Julianne Hough host a Christmas special with musical performances, celebrity appearances and festive segments from various Disney Parks around the world. Guests include Becky G, Chloe Flower, Black Eyed Peas, Katharine McPhee, Il Volo, Jordin Sparks, Maren Morris, Meghan Trainor, Ne-Yo and Run DMC.
8.50pm: The King’s Christmas Message. A festive message to the Commonwealth from His Majesty King Charles III.
9.05pm: PTV’s CHRISTMAS AT THE MOVIES - Last Holiday (2006). Upon learning of a terminal illness, a shy woman decides to sell all her possessions and live it up at a posh Central European hotel. Comedy/drama, starring Queen Latifah, LL Cool J, Timothy Hutton, Gérard Depardieu, Alicia Witt, Giancarlo Esposito. Directed by Wayne Wang.
11.00pm: PTV News (LATE BULLETIN). A final wrap of the day’s national and international news and sport, plus a national weather forecast.
11.15pm: PTV’s CHRISTMAS LATE MOVIE - Love Actually (2003). Eight London couples try to deal with their relationships in different ways. Their tryst with love makes them discover how complicated relationships can be. Comedy, starring Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth, Laura Linney, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Keira Knightley, Martine McCutcheon, Bill Nighy, Rowan Atkinson. Directed by Richard Curtis.
1.25am: Closedown

All programmes in the mock schedules may change without notice and are subject to classification.

@SA_TV @greenpea @NuStraya

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CHRISTMAS DAY SCHEDULES ON OTHER PTV NETWORK CHANNELS

Below are the mock Christmas Day schedules for PTV Network New Zealand (as a fictional broadcaster) and its selected channels - PTV Shake, PTV Gold (formerly GEM), PTV Breeze (formerly Home and Taste), PTV Rewind and PTV XV.

PTV SHAKE

5.55am: Merry Christmas from the PTV Network Mascots. Featuring the vocal harmonies of The Madeleines, New Zealand’s premier vocal trio.
6.00am: Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas. Elmo’s father tells a tale of the man who brought cheer to a dreary and unfriendly Sesame Street.
6.50am: Moe’s Christmas. Join Moe for his first ever Christmas! When Gilbert discovers that he is on Santa’s naughty list, he convinces Moe and Fern to join him on a daring mission.
7.15am: SpongeBob SquarePants (DOUBLE EPISODE)
8.00am: The Loud House (DOUBLE EPISODE)
8.45am: The Casagrandes
9.10am: Big City Greens
9.35am: The Ghost and Molly McGee
10.00am: Trolls: Holiday in Harmony. Queen Poppy plans the first annual Trolls Kingdom Secret Holiday Gift Swap, but things take an unexpected turn when she and Branch draw each other’s names, while Tiny Diamond comes down with a bad case of writer’s block. Animated.
10.25am: PTV SHAKE’S CHRISTMAS MORNING MOVIE - The Swan Princess: Christmas (2012). Princess Odette and her woodland friends return for their first Christmas celebration, but first they must stop evil Rothbart from destroying Christmas itself. Animated, starring the voices of Laura Bailey, Yuri Lowenthal, James Arrington, GK Bowes, Sean Wright. Directed by Richard Rich.
11.50am: The Smurfs: A Christmas Carol (R). Grouchy Smurf refuses to celebrate Christmas with his fellow Smurfs and behaves rudely towards them. Soon, three special spirits appear to teach him to appreciate the holiday. Animated. First shown on PTV.
12.15pm: Bunk’d
12.40pm: Raven’s Home
1.05pm: PTV SHAKE’S CHRISTMAS DAY MATINEE - Saving Santa (2013). An evil mother-son duo kidnaps Santa to solve the mystery behind his ability to deliver presents to countless children in the span of a single night. Animated, starring the voices of Martin Freeman, Tim Curry, Noel Clarke, Tim Conway, Pam Ferris, Ashley Tisdale, Joan Collins. Directed by Leon Joosen, Aaron Seelman.
2.35pm: Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas. When a young man who is raised in the North Pole, goes in search of his estranged family, he inspires everyone on the way and spreads the joy of Christmas. Animated.
3.20pm: Side Hustle
3.45pm: That Girl Lay Lay
4.10pm: Tyler Perry’s Young Dylan
4.30pm: PTV SHAKE’S CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON MOVIE - Santa Buddies (2009). The Buddies remind Santa Paws’ feisty son, Puppy Paws, about the true meaning of Christmas. Family, starring George Wendt, Quinn Lord, Christopher Lloyd and the voices of Zachary Gordon, Josh Flitter, Tom Bosley. Directed by Robert Vince.
6.00pm: The Simpsons (DOUBLE EPISODE)
6.45pm: The Big Bang Theory
7.10pm: Family Guy (DOUBLE EPISODE)
8.00pm: Young Rock
8.25pm: PTV SHAKE’S CHRISTMAS AT THE MOVIES - Iron Man 3 (2013). When Tony Stark’s world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution. Action, starring Robert Downey Jr, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Ben Kingsley. Directed by Shane Black.
10.35pm: PTV SHAKE’S CHRISTMAS LATE MOVIE - Office Christmas Party (2016). An office Christmas celebration gets out of control after a branch manager throws a party to impress a client and retain his branch and employees from his sister. Comedy, starring Jason Bateman, Olivia Munn, TJ Miller, Jennifer Aniston. Directed by Will Speck, Josh Gordon.
12.20am: Closedown

PTV GOLD

6.55am: Merry Christmas from the PTV Network Mascots. Featuring the vocal harmonies of The Madeleines, New Zealand’s premier vocal trio.
7.00am: Happy Days
7.20am: The Mary Tyler Moore Show
7.45am: The Golden Girls
8.10am: YMCA Carols by Candlelight (R). Chris Kirk presents full delayed and commercial-free coverage from Victoria Square in Christchurch of the annual YMCA Carols by Candlelight, featuring the Salvation Army Band, guest performers, a combined Christchurch choir and a few twists to help celebrate. First shown on PTV.
9.10am: PTV GOLD’S CHRISTMAS MORNING DOUBLE FEATURE - It’s a Wonderful Life (1946). A businessman is shown by his guardian angel on Christmas Eve what the world would be like if he were never born. Drama, starring James Stewart, Donna Reed. Directed by Frank Capra.
11.20am: PTV GOLD’S CHRISTMAS MORNING DOUBLE FEATURE - White Christmas (1954). A successful song-and-dance team become romantically involved with a sister act and team up to save the failing Vermont inn of their former commanding general. Musical, starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, Vera-Ellen, Dean Jagger. Directed by Michael Curtiz.
1.20pm: Matthew Bourne’s Sleeping Beauty. Matthew Bourne reimagines Tchaikovsky’s ballet of the timeless fairy tale. The story of a young girl cursed to sleep for 100 years is turned into a gothic tale for all ages.
3.05pm: The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2023. JJ Chalmers and Jennifer Reoch introduce an array of global talent performing at the annual spectacular in front of Edinburgh Castle, led by the famous Massed Pipes and Drums.
4.05pm: Pointless Celebrities (R). Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman host a celebrity edition of the British quiz show in which contestants try to come up with the answers that nobody else could think of. Tonight’s celebrity contestants include Aled Jones, Russell Watson, Ben Cohen, Kristina Rihanoff, Kriss Akabusi, Shakira Akabusi, Jamie Laing and Sophie Habboo. First shown on PTV.
4.55pm: Tipping Point Lucky Stars (R). Ben Shephard hosts a Christmas edition of the British game show in which three celebrity contestants brave the tipping point machine in the hopes of winning a record-breaking 20,000 pounds. Tonight’s contestants include Derrick Evans (aka “Mr Motivator”), Josie Gibson and Len Goodman, who sadly passed away earlier this year. First shown on PTV.
5.45pm: The King’s Christmas Message. A festive message to the Commonwealth from His Majesty King Charles III.
6.00pm: Call the Midwife Christmas Special 2022. The Turners support a family still suffering the devastating effects of thalidomide, Miss Higgins is involved in an unexpected delivery, and the community stages a talent show.
7.30pm: Sister Boniface Mysteries Christmas Special 2023. Stranded on a snowbound train at Christmas, Sister Boniface is confronted by the theft of a cursed jewel and an impossible murder.
9.15pm: All Creatures Great and Small Christmas Special 2023. Faced with a daunting future, James longs to see Helen, but an injured bird stands in his way. Siegfried and Carmody try to support Mrs Hall’s community efforts.
10.05pm: Christmas with Katherine Jenkins. Welsh superstar and mezzo-soprano Katherine Jenkins OBE returns home to Wales to celebrate Christmas in a special one-off concert recorded at the Swansea Arena.
11.05pm: Blackadder’s Christmas Carol. Ebenezer Blackadder, a Victorian proprietor of a moustache shop, is one of the nicest men in England. He is extremely generous and helpful. But things change after he sees visions of his ancestors.
11.50pm: PTV GOLD’S CHRISTMAS LATE MOVIE - Casablanca (1942). A cynical expatriate American cafe owner struggles to decide whether or not to help his former lover and her fugitive husband escape the Nazis in French Morocco. Drama, starring Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Conrad Veidt, Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre. Directed by Michael Curtiz.
1.30am: Closedown

PTV BREEZE

6.55am: Merry Christmas from the PTV Network Mascots. Featuring the vocal harmonies of The Madeleines, New Zealand’s premier vocal trio.
7.00am: Teeny Tiny Christmas
7.25am: The Pioneer Woman
7.50am: James Martin: Home Comforts at Christmas
8.40am: Nigella’s Christmas Table
9.40am: You’ll Be Home for Christmas
10.25am: Holiday Crafters Gone Wild
11.50am: Surprising Santa Claus
1.00pm: Outrageous Holiday Houses
1.45pm: Holiday House Hunters
2.10pm: Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas
3.00pm: Christmas Cruising with Susan Calman
3.50pm: Gino’s Italian Christmas Feast
4.15pm: The Great Food Guys Christmas Special
4.45pm: The Great Christmas Bake Off 2022
5.50pm: DIY SOS: EastEnders Special. Nick Knowles and the DIY SOS team partner with the stars of EastEnders to bring volunteers together to support a mental health community project in Harlow, Essex, in a one-off Christmas special.
6.50pm: Antiques Roadshow at Christmas. Fiona Bruce and the Antiques Roadshow team look back over some of the most moving and memorable stories from recent years and ask, ‘what happened next?’. Recorded off the satellite from the UK less than 12 hours ago.
7.50pm: The Repair Shop at Christmas. It’s Christmas at The Repair Shop and the team face four festive fixes, including a mechanical cake, a record player, paper Santas and a steel-pan drum. Recorded off the satellite from the UK less than 12 hours ago.
8.50pm: George Clarke’s Alaskan Adventure. George Clarke takes his good friend Will Hardie on an exciting winter adventure, as they explore the surprising array of architecture that magical, snowy Alaska has to offer.
9.40pm: All Creatures Great and Small: Yorkshire Vet Special. With exclusive behind the scenes access to the film set and studios, Peter Wright and Shona Searson from The Yorkshire Vet go back in time to experience 1940s Darrowby at the most wonderful time of the year. The All Creatures Great and Small Christmas Special screens on PTV Gold at 9.15pm.
10.30pm: Lighting Up Christmas. A magical tour around Britain to meet the Christmas elves who are pulling out all the stops to create a picture-perfect Christmas.
11.20pm: Ho Ho Home. Albie Mushaney performs a Christmas miracle to help a family find a larger home for making holiday memories.
11.45pm: Outrageous Holiday Houses (R)
12.30am: Holiday House Hunters (R)
12.55am: Closedown

PTV REWIND

5.55am: Merry Christmas from the PTV Network Mascots. Featuring the vocal harmonies of The Madeleines, New Zealand’s premier vocal trio.
6.00am: Rainbow Christmas Show
6.25am: Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol. This musical adaptation of the classic tale by Charles Dickens stars Magoo as the cold-hearted old miser, Ebenezer Scrooge. Animated.
7.15am: Frosty’s Winter Wonderland. Frosty’s kind of lonely, so the kids think of making him a wife, Crystal. But will Jack Frost let them be happy? Animated.
7.40am: Fraggle Rock
8.05am: The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus. An animated puppet story set in the spirit world. The great Ak, Lord of the Spirits, summons the immortals to tell them that Santa Claus is about to be visited by the Spirit of Death. The council must decide if Santa should be given the mantle of immorality.
8.55am: The Jetsons
9.15am: TaleSpin
9.35am: A Chipmunk Christmas. Alvin gives away his cherished harmonica to a sick little boy while, at the same time, Dave has booked Alvin to perform a harmonica solo at Carnegie Hall. Animated.
10.00am: Yogi’s First Christmas. Yogi, Boo Boo and Cindy are awakened from hibernation and join their friends’ Christmas activities while interfering with two villains’ efforts to ruin the holiday. Animated.
11.40am: The Snowman. On Christmas Eve, a young boy builds a snowman that comes to life and takes him to the North Pole to meet Father Christmas. Animated.
12.10pm: PTV REWIND’S CHRISTMAS DAY MATINEE - Babes in Toyland (1986). A young girl wakes up in the realm of Toyland, where she teams up with her family and friends to overthrow the evil villain, Barnaby. Musical, starring Drew Barrymore, Richard Mulligan, Eileen Brennan, Keanu Reeves, Jill Schoelen, Googy Gress, Pat Morita. Directed by Clive Donner.
1.50pm: The Christmas Toy. Kermit the Frog introduces the story of a group of toys who band together to teach Rugby, the self-centred tiger, the true Christmas spirit.
2.40pm: The Smurfs
3.05pm: A Flintstone Christmas. When Santa has an accident at Fred’s house on Christmas Eve, Fred and Barney have to continue his run for him. Animated.
3.55pm: Christmas Comes to Pac-Land. After a conflict with the ghosts, causing Santa to spiral out of control and crash his sleigh, Pac-Man and his family and friends work together to fix his sleigh and save Christmas. Animated.
4.20pm: It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown. The Peanuts gang prepares for the holidays in their own unique ways. Animated.
4.45pm: Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas. Inspector Gadget is off to the North Pole to stop Dr Claw from taking over Santa’s elves and workshop. Animated.
5.10pm: ALF
5.35pm: Growing Pains
6.00pm: Give Us a Clue for Christmas 1980. Host Michael Aspel and team captains Una Stubbs and Lionel Blair are joined by special guests Jim Davidson, Kenny Everett, Alfred Marks, Julia McKenzie, Mollie Sugden and Barbara Windsor for a fun-filled game of charades.
6.25pm: Dad’s Army Christmas 1974. “Turkey Dinner”. When the platoon accidentally shoot and kill a loose turkey, a turkey dinner is organised.
6.55pm: The Morecambe & Wise Christmas Show 1976. Some Morecambe & Wise madness from the mid-1970s, helped along by special guest Elton John whose confidence is shatered when Eric and Ernie decide to sing a duet and ask him to be their accompanist. Other guests include John Thaw, Dennis Waterman, Kate O’Mara, Marion Montgomery, the Nolans and Angela Rippon.
8.00pm: The Good Life Christmas Special 1977. While Barbara and Tom Good begin to devise their Christmas decorations out of newspaper and anything else recyclable, Margo Leadbetter is making her own elaborate arrangements.
8.30pm: The Paul Daniels Christmas Magic Show 1989. Magical festive fun with Paul Daniels and guests Little and Large, entertainer Kenny Raskin, plus Neighbours stars Anne Charleston and Ian Smith.
9.20pm: London’s Burning. “Ding Dong Merrily”. Blue Watch find themselves having to make professional and personal plans for the festive period.
10.40pm: The Bill. “Vital Statistics”. The pressure is on from ‘on high’ to increase the number of arrests. Meanwhile, a baby goes missing with her babysitter and Hollis is busy organising a disco.
11.30pm: Night Court
11.55pm: Ironside
12.40am: Closedown

PTV XV

5.55am: Merry Christmas from the PTV Network Mascots. Featuring the vocal harmonies of The Madeleines, New Zealand’s premier vocal trio.
6.00am: Preschool programming (Runs through to 6pm)
6.00pm: M-A-S-H (DOUBLE EPISODE)
6.45pm: Cheers (DOUBLE EPISODE)
7.10pm: Emmerdale. Charles gets Chas to open up; an unresponsive Mack sits bound to a chair in an abandoned factory; and Claudette offers Amelia money to go and see Dan.
7.35pm: Coronation Street. Daisy refuses to give up on locating Stephen’s stolen money; Tim invites Peter to share a hot tub; Ed gambles with Sarge’s money; and the Platts struggle in their attempt to be nice to each other.
8.00pm: EastEnders. Denise and Jack’s marriage is on the rocks; Alfie strikes a Christmas deal with Honey; and Stacey receives an unexpected gift.
8.30pm: The Madame Blanc Mysteries Christmas Special 2023 (R). Judith and Jeremy arrange for friends to attend a murder mystery at a ‘haunted hotel’, but events take a deadly turn when an actual murder takes place. First shown on PTV Gold.
9.20pm: PTV XV’s CHRISTMAS AT THE MOVIES - Scrooged (1988). A cynically selfish TV executive is haunted by three spirits from the past, present and future. With the help of the ghosts, he realises that he must reform himself. Comedy, starring Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, Bobcat Goldthwait, Carol Kane, Robert Mitchum, Michael J Pollard, Alfre Woodard. Directed by Richard Donner.
11.00pm: The Royle Family at Christmas. At Christmas, the Royles are joined by Emma’s parents as they celebrate Baby David’s first birthday.
11.30pm: The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2023 (R). JJ Chalmers and Jennifer Reoch introduce an array of global talent performing at the annual spectacular in front of Edinburgh Castle, led by the famous Massed Pipes and Drums. First shown on PTV Gold.
12.30am: Closedown

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COMING SOON

@Michael_Eccles @LiamP @millsy PTV Network New Zealand (as a fictional broadcaster) is so much more than just a mock free-to-air television service.

In 2024 Patrick Te Pou Broadcasting Limited (as a fictional media and entertainment company), which operates PTV Network New Zealand, is set to launch two new commercial radio services - the Independent Radio Service (IRS) and Independent Local Radio (ILR) - as a combined complement to free-to-air television, although they are mock broadcasters and inspired by real-life radio brands (e.g. The Edge, The Rock, The Breeze, Southern Cross Country Radio, Magic, Newstalk ZB, SENZ etc).

Below are the mock details of how the Independent Radio Service works. Detailed information about Independent Local Radio, a group of localised commercial radio stations as a homage to the old days of RNZ’s now-defunct Community Network (now Newstalk ZB and The Hits respectively), will follow as soon as possible.

INDEPENDENT RADIO SERVICE

New Zealand’s radio landscape just got a little more overcrowded with the launch of the Independent Radio Service (IRS). With seven national radio brands under its umbrella, the IRS offers listeners a diverse range of content, catering to a wide range of demographics and tastes.

From music lovers to sports fans, news junkies to talk radio enthusiasts, the IRS has something for everyone. Let’s take a closer look at the different networks and what the IRS has to offer.

Starting off with the music networks, QFM targets the 18-39 year old demographic and is all about the hottest hits, hip hop, RnB and EDM from New Zealand and around the world. Whether it’s current chart-toppers, new releases, urban beats or dance tracks, QFM has it all - making it the go-to station for young listeners. (QFM is loosely based on a merger between MediaWorks’ popular music brands - The Edge, Mai and George FM - in an effort to cater for a diverse audience of young New Zealanders. In addition, the name QFM is inspired by Q97, a local hit radio station based in Whakatane and broadcast to the Eastern Bay of Plenty on 97.7FM and Ohope Beach on 99.3FM.)

Next up is Heavy FM, which targets the same demographic but with a focus on loud and proud rock music. Targeting 18-39 with a male skew, this station is perfect for those who like to crank up the volume and headbang to their favourite bands. (Heavy FM is loosely based on the format of The Rock, New Zealand’s leading rock station.)

For the more mellow listeners, Lite FM is the ideal choice. Catering for 35+ year olds, this station offers a mix of contemporary hits and throwback classics from the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s and today. It’s the perfect station for easy listening. (Lite FM is loosely based on the format of The Breeze, New Zealand’s #1 music station.)

Country FM, as the name suggests, is all about country music. Targeting 25+ year olds, this station showcases both traditional and modern country music from New Zealand and overseas. It’s a must-listen for fans of the genre who are looking for a mix of old and new tunes. (Country FM is loosely based on the format of Southern Cross Country Radio, an online-only radio brand devoted to the genre.)

Vintage FM is the station for those who want to relive the good old days. Targeting all Kiwis aged 50+, Vintage FM plays happy and upbeat classics from the 50s and 60s with a sprinkle of 70s hits. It’s the perfect soundtrack for a nostalgic trip down memory lane. (Vintage FM is loosely based on the format of Magic during its initial launch in 2015.)

Moving on to the news and talk networks, TalkNZ is aimed at the 40+ demographic and offers a mix of intelligent talk, robust discussion and controversial comment on the issues that affect almost every New Zealander. Along with thought-provoking discussions, TalkNZ also covers the latest in local, national and international news to keep its listeners informed and engaged. (TalkNZ is loosely based on the format of Newstalk ZB.)

For sports fans, SportNZ is a dream come true. Featuring live commentary of local and international sporting events and a variety of sports talk content, this network is the go-to for all things sport. From debates on the latest matches to exclusive interviews with the athletes, SportNZ has it all. (SportNZ is loosely based on the format of SENZ.)

What makes the IRS stand out from other radio networks is its streaming service, RADIO+. This service not only offers live streaming of the seven national radio networks but also includes a variety of online-only stations. These include QFM Fresh (the home of the hottest hip hop and RnB), QFM Dance (the home of dance and electronica) and Heavy FM Classic Rock (the home of classic rock tracks from the 70s and 80s), among others. Listeners can also access original podcasts through RADIO+, providing a diverse range of content at their fingertips. (RADIO+ is loosely based on the likes of iHeartRadio and rova respectively.)

The IRS is owned and operated by Patrick Te Pou Broadcasting Limited, a homegrown New Zealand media and entertainment company (and the company behind PTV Network New Zealand as a free-to-air television brand). With the launch of the IRS they have expanded their reach and given listeners more options to choose from.

What sets the IRS apart is its commitment to providing quality content that caters to a diverse range of interests and demographics. With seven national networks and a streaming service, the IRS is quickly becoming a major player in New Zealand’s radio industry.

So whether you’re in the mood for some energetic Top 40 hits, some headbanging rock music or some insightful discussions and live sport commentary, the Independent Radio Service has got you covered. Tune in to one of our networks or stream your favourite content on RADIO+, and experience the new wave of commercial radio in New Zealand.

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@millsy @LiamP @OnAir Here are the mock logos for the Independent Radio Service (IRS) and its brands. I created the IRS as a complement to my dream television network, PTV Network New Zealand, as my mock media and entertainment company (Patrick Te Pou Broadcasting Limited) is expanding.

Without further ado, Happy New Year!

Corporate logo

QFM and sister stations (in the style of Q97 in Whakatane)

QFM Fresh

QFM Dance

Heavy FM

Lite FM

Country FM

Vintage FM

TalkNZ

SportNZ

RADIO+

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As usual you’ve done a damn good job with these logos.

I wish I could be as good as you, my friend.

All the best for 2024 with both PTV and yourself.

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Thanks, @Damo!

Here are the mock frequencies and Freeview channel numbers for the Independent Radio Service (IRS) and its brands. Take Auckland, for example.

Please note that the Auckland frequencies contained in the mock images are used by The Edge, The Rock, The Breeze, Channel X, Mai, Magic and SENZ in real life, and that the Freeview channel numbers do not exist in real life, although George FM is available on Freeview channel 70 and Radio Aotearoa, channel 71.

QFM

Heavy FM

Lite FM

Country FM

Vintage FM

TalkNZ

SportNZ

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